Thoughts on Dining Alone - From Amsterdam

The following post was written while in Amsterdam. It has not been changed much, except to fix some obvious spelling and grammar issues, otherwise it is as I wrote it on 20th August 2010 at "Dinnertime"

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I can't decide which is more embarrassing to do while dining alone in a big city: is it worse to read or journal? I couldn't decide so I pulled both out from my backpack. Let's start off by saying they don't make it easy on you (they = the restauranteurs, you = the single diner). More often than not you're pushed to the back of the floor. And then, to avoid putting your back to everyone else in the restaurant and face the kitchen (or even worse, a wall) you must sit and essentially watch everyone else eat (everyone else being in groups of 2 or more). Either way you, at the same time boarder on a live theater act, in which, at least once, everyone in the room realizes you are alone and then briefly stares as if expressing "sadness/empathy" or "total confusion."

Personally, I prefer the former ("sadness/empathy") much more because it means that that person, too has been there, alone and still eating.

It's the confused look which offends me. Because its those people who just can't believe it. Can't believe a person, a woman, sitting alone at a sit-down restaurant, pen & paper in her hand, sipping her diet coke and always making up an excuse to add more cheese to her pasta (for example: I can't see the cheese anymore, therefore there isn't enough!)

And whilst all this is happening you simply fade into your own world, where your personality (or personalities) can be out and open. Your writing just flows, your humor the only humor, your world what is real and for a brief moment, you are the center of attention. Pity or otherwise.

Yes, this all did spur from a reflection on sitting alone at the back of the restaurant, but there is much truth in these ramblings. You know, while everyone seems to have their eyes on me from time to time, it seems that I, also, spend a lot of time staring back. I analyze the crowd, all couples and groups of friends, about 15-20 or so in all. That might also include the floor staff who sort of blend in. I've spent a rather fascinating day, seeing the Anne Frank Haus and then the Amsterdam Historical Museum, which was massive and full of some amazing works and history but was terribly unorganized (along with its audioguide) and while I respect their decision to leave it out, there was actually NO signage making the "suggested path" visible or navigate-able. The art was amazing though, that pleased me. And I suppose made up for it.

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At some point I am sure I will elaborate this topic, since it is one I have come to know quite well. Perhaps I can write a series of articles or something about the experiences of eating alone, followed by tips on how to succeed.

Anyway, this is number 2 of 4 entries I wrote in Amsterdam. The third & fourth will follow soon.

My best to all my readers, feel free to comment or reflect.

Love,

Mattie