Class here is so hard! Its been so long since I was in a classroom, let alone a classroom where they don't speak English. Trying to remember everything becomes a daily struggle. I try to think about the words I say in English in French when I'm speaking, but like with most aspects of the language it's OVER MY HEAD. I know English isn't easy to learn but honestly, I don't remember all these fraking rules. For example, today we're working on the subjonctif (subjunctive) formation of sentences & verbs. I forget even what subjunctive means in english, let alone trying to figure out when you're supposed to use it. We were supposed to write sentences using verbs referring to obligation or desire. I wrote I hope to go to Italy. But in French, where the second verb (go) would normally be subjunctive it's not because the sentence is about me & me again. If I said She hopes I go to Italy, then I'd use the subjunctive form of go, but if the subject is the same then you use the infinitive form. WTF?!? Why can't they just make up their minds?!? I could certainly be doing worse, but honestly, I am just having so much trouble grasping it in the moment. I go home on the bus and just pray I'll remember what was said and how to say it again. And of course the whole class is in French, so no side explanations of words - if we ask what a word means we get a synonym in French, which doesn't always help.
I've decided that if nothing else, learning a foreign language should make me appreciate knowing english more. It really is a bizarre & difficult language. Although, I am grateful EVERY DAY that we don't have a different way of saying "I go" and "You go" - go is go no matter what. In French it's je va and vous allez... explain that?!? And don't get me started on all those f-ing irregulars! *sigh* it's a lot of work, and requires a lot of brain power (something I never had a plethora of to begin with).
Sean, the oldest Porter child thinks I'll return bilingual. I think this might be setting the expectations a little high. Even with years of schooling in the States, nothing prepares you for actual communication. However, having the tools to know what something is categorized as is helpful, even if you can't recall it on the spot. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though... who knows maybe I will end up bilingual, although I don't know how much good French will do me in Seattle. Perhaps if I moved to Quebec... but, even then, I doubt I'd use French as my base language.
I definitely see a big difference from being in a classroom & in the real world with it though, you can learn how to write the same sentence a billion times but actually bringing it out of your arse and into speech is another trick entirely. Immersion is the best way to learn, I'm sure but unfortunately it also makes you feel like a fool sometimes. Even remembering when to use "tu" and when to use "vous" confuses me. In classes in the states we almost ALWAYS used vous (formal of you) but with the kids they use tu, and if I use vous with them they a) don't understand and b) it shows that they have a higher level respect than I do, so I have to practice using the right words all the time and then pray I don't mess up in public and ask a stranger "d'eau s'il tu plaît" instead of "s'il vous plaît". BIG ROOKIE MISTAKE (trust me, I made it last weekend). I know the rule is, when in doubt use "vous" but seriously, I'm ALWAYS in doubt!!
I really have a lot more respect for anyone who has mastered more than one tongue. Take my employers for instance, both are native French speakers, but they also both know German AND English. At work they use English (which is a plus for me, because that means I have a higher chance of getting a foreign job, seeing how English is the universal language, but I also feel like it is in some ways looked down upon because it's my ONLY language). Someday, maybe, I will be able to appreciate knowing English and not feel out of place for it being my only mastered language, but until I see it happen, I am fearful that I, like most Americans won't realize how much more there really is!
Perhaps I should start trying to write more in French, but to me, it isn't the writing that is most vital, it's the speaking and the listening (which, I will be the first to admit I'm not the best at, even in English). I can write until the cows come home but until I can read what someone else has put into words, and understand their sentiments, etc. I have a bad feeling I'll just be another wannabe. Trying. Endlessly.
Anyway, I need to go get out my workbook and do some more practice. And by more practice I mean, endless practice...
Until next time, all my love.
No comments:
Post a Comment